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Take This Day and Shove It 10 Ways to Make a Bad Day Go Away

Let's be honest, no matter how much we love our jobs, there will always be days when we feel like we've been beaten about the face and neck and can't wait until we get home so we can find some way to bury the events of the day. So, when you start your day feeling the need to peruse the Active Shooter policy (you know, just in case), and end it with a not-so-generalized accusation of thinly veiled racism within the healthcare system, you REALLY have to get creative if you want any hope of wiping away enough of the day's events to have a decent night's sleep so you can do it all again the next day.

Since none of us can simply channel Dumbledore and draw the bad parts of our day out with a magic wand and deposit them into a glorified birdbath, here are a few suggestions to help you send that bad juju into the fiery depths of Hell:

  1. Take a bath. Sure, it's pretty vanilla. But if you think about it, you can't bake a cake without it (vanilla, that is). I consider the bath a classic, tried and true option for washing away the literal and figurative funk. Throw in a dog who likes to drop his toys into the tub for you to play fetch with, and you'll find yourself unable to keep from smiling. Also, add alcohol.

  2. See how many curse words you can get Alexa to say. Or better yet, go to your parents' house and secretly tell Alexa to wake them up at 3am with classical harp music. It'll scare the shit out of them. Also, add alcohol.

  3. Work on the cross-stitch project that's been sitting in a bag in the corner of your bedroom for 10 years. There's nothing like jabbing something with a needle to make you feel a little better about life. Trust me, I'm a nurse.

  4. Clean. It's not much fun, but anger cleaning is a lot like anger sex. You get a lot done in a very short amount of time and can go to sleep that much faster. Also, add alcohol. Even better, add Ambien (for the sex, not the cleaning).

  5. Do your taxes. It will remind you why you have to have that job. Do NOT add alcohol to this one.

  6. Numerous cocktails. Be careful, though, because it could make your next day at work worse than the one you're trying to block out.

  7. Lay like a slug on your couch until bedtime, then play a game of "Which body part hurts worse?". Never a dull moment. This is a good game to play with your Facebook friends. Whoever pops the most joints gets a $25 gift card to K&W.

  8. Mindlessly scroll through social media with the TV on, quietly cursing the people who are posting photos of their perfect lives which, in reality, suck just as much as yours does.

  9. Journal. Every therapist will tell you that putting your thoughts and feelings on paper will help you unload the things that are weighing on your mi.......just kidding. This doesn't actually work. All it does is leave a legacy of misery that your kids are going to find tucked away in a dresser drawer after you're dead, along with some naughty lingerie you hung onto in the hope that you would eventually have someone to wear it for (and the body to pull it off). On the upside, it's a great way to make family get togethers awkward for months after you're gone.

  10. Finally, the only one that actually works. Have a good cry, a long shower, suck it up and keep going. Nobody likes a victim. Tomorrow is going to come whether you want it to or not, and if you're lucky enough to work with people who can make you laugh while crying with you, then I'd say you're doing pretty well.

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